“Am I Pretty or Ugly?”

“Please be honest,” the girl in the video says, and then she emphasises that she wants to know if she’s pretty or ugly. You can use cuss words if you like — believe it or not, people do so in the comments all the time. I keep wondering: doesn’t she realise? Doesn’t she realise that deep down, there is only one “right” answer for her and all those other girls that put up videos posing that one question: “Am I pretty or ugly?” I’m going to be honest with them.

I need security, too

I’m not the goody two-shoes here. Quite the contrary: even nowadays, I still ask my boyfriend similar questions, such as whether I’m really pretty. I know that’s not fair, because he is always honest with me: he is attracted to me. Above all, he tells me that he thinks I’m pretty when I’m not asking about it. So why, for heaven’s sake, do I do this to him? He’s not just saying things because I’m so insecure; he really thinks I’m pretty, and he makes me feel that way. But it’s that damn insecurity that is the culprit here, fed by my anorexia, and quenched by the non-stop comparing competitions I hold: comparing myself to my peers, random people walking by, and to celebrities. Everything to get some idea of my prettiness, even if I know it’s warping my world.

One correct answer

In that sense, I understand why these girls want to know whether they are pretty or ugly. They just want to get rid of that insecurity. But let’s be honest here: there is only one “correct” answer, and we all know that it isn’t “you’re ugly.” We know that, but the web can be cruel because we can be so anonymous out there if we want. So these girls get subjected to the most terrible opinions, and that may cause more harm than good. Correct me if I’m wrong, but don’t they upload these videos to make them feel better?

The key

Speaking of which: feeling good is the key to being pretty. Feeling good comprises so many things: accepting yourself the way you are (including your looks!), feeling confident, feeling comfortable, and being happy. All this will be reflected in your body language and in your physical appearance. Think rosy cheeks and a healthy complexion — we don’t need make-up for that. We don’t need people answering this terrible question, because it’s not going to make us feel good. If anything, it will make us more insecure. Just one “you’re not pretty” after tons of compliments will do more damage than we can imagine. Especially to young, ten-year-old girls.

Don’t lie to yourself

But you know what, girls? There are more ways to be pretty. Pretty doesn’t have to do with your appearance, with make-up, clothing, hairstyles and what have you. It’s about who you are and what you do. Don’t lie to yourself. You don’t want people to be honest in their comments because you really don’t want to hear that you’re ugly; that would only hurt your feelings. Lying has never made anyone pretty, and neither does the neediness and desperation to be told that you’re pretty make you any more attractive — quite the contrary.

Be proud

Be proud of who you are. Be proud of what you do, be it getting good grades in school, being good at sports or art, being a good listener or a great friend that everyone can rely on. But you should not have to rely on other people’s opinions — people you don’t even know, for that matter. Those comments are just as insignificant as numbers when it comes to beauty. I believe everyone is pretty in their own way — on the inside and outside.

Video by lynn12388

5 thoughts on ““Am I Pretty or Ugly?”

  1. I’m a little shocked by the video of that little girl. She’s just so young and already so insecure about how she looks. It’s really a shame that she can’t see how beautiful she is, just because of what other people tell her..

    • I know what you mean and I was just as shocked when I started browsing these videos for my article. My biggest concerns when I was that age was how good my Barbies looked and what kind of weather they predicted the next day because I wanted to go play outside. Times have changed for all ages, it seems.

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